Ive never done anything like this. But im hopeful to say the least. I start back in this fight of life swinging out of the gate. i hope all of you find what your looking for. if things went the way we all intended in the beginning we wouldnt be here right? life isnt easy for many of us and as a single father there are no silver spoons given.Life is a lesson and we all are here to learn. i hope we all have learned from our mistakes and can move on.. to a new start. best of luck to everyone!!!!
I just wanted to take the time to thank spm for everything. i found exactly what i was looking for and am now far from where i once lived.
im happy to say the least and think that its now time to delete my profile in the hopes i wont be back. This site works people just keep your head up and continue contacting those you are intrested in..
thanks to everyone.. im going to enjoy this hopefully forever. :)
It wasn't until around 230am as i lay awake in bed hearing the sound of a cbr1000 reving outside my house. I jumped out of bed like a shot of a gun. I grabbed my shoes and my etnies hoodie knowing my helmet was on my gas tank. It was my friend who had just had an falling out with his girl.
I own (for now) an 06 Suzuki gsxr1000 and for awhile i hadn't been on it alot till recently. I grabbed my mp3 player and turned it on. a remix by DJ tiesto "crosses" started blaring in my ears..
Some times we as people just need to have something that lets our spirits fly. Something that allows us to be free. We always go back to the ones we love but for that moment you are alive and not thinking about whatever problems you have.
We start into the night.. side by side. No words were really said.. just a quick finger point and away we went. I felt as if our bikes and minds were connected. We rode harder then ever before. For me personally it felt great. I felt as if i was flying as i looked up at the moon.. This song blared in my ears and i had to tap the repeat button.. we rode into blackville WV..ended up in a small town called mt.morris pa.. grabbed i-79 and hit the interstate to morgantown WV.. I had the best ride of my life hands down bar none. No speed limits.. no worries and no thoughts of issues within myself.
the point is there are times that being a single parent gets hard.i know it's never easy actually.. As our kids get older we need to find something that when we do get time.. we extremely enjoy.. something that sets our souls free. It's not that we love our kids any less.. its just at times i feel we need to recharge ourselves. parents understand that yes we give up alot.. yes we don't get to go to all the parties or clubs..nor is that always the answer. well not for me anyway. But you do need to find something that you and only you enjoy doing..
I came home and wrote this.. now i know I'm going to sleep like a baby waiting for my son to arrive around 11am. i cant wait.
Jesus what a good song.. its on youtube as well.. Jose Gonzalez - Crosses (DJ Ti??sto Remix)
Your eyes, filled with mystery, I wish youd have them on me, Your eyes, filled with passion, Flares with beautys incarnation.
Your eyes, makes my darkest day bright, If only I could look at them late at night Your eyes, tells me its a dream come true, If only my other dreams were too.
Your eyes, could always comfort me, I wish, they'd be mine for eternity, Your eyes, makes eternity bliss, Who could deny a miracle like this?
Your eyes, soft dark, yet bright, I love the way they tell me its all right, Your eyes, when you love, fills with emotion, They would enchant me into the deepest ocean.
Your eyes, the beauty I can never understand, These feelings embedded by the touch of your hand.
Your eyes, its a secret I can never keep, I have somehow fell in love so deep, Your eyes, how could God create this from above, When he looked at you, how could He not fall in love?
Your eyes, the window to your soul and heart, They make me want to be with you, never to part. Your eyes, surpasses the beauty of paradise, The only silent unnoticeable bliss I have your eyes
people come and go in our lives.. Some leave out of pain and some just want freedom. Yet they leave a stain in our eyes left by dried tears. I stare out into the ocean and wonder if the ocean is filled by the salty tears of broken hearts.. We are not the only ones.. there are millions of us. For those of us who get hurt and beat down by lifes pressures.. i say STAND. Stand in silence with a smile and keep going. keep searching.. happiness is out there.. sometimes we just have to look harder in places unknown to our comfort zones to find it.
Sometimes we as people need to take a step back and take a peak from a 3rd point of view to make sure the things we are doing is truly what we want..
Ive been tested to that fact and i can say though my past is done and over. There has been times where i was a little suprised.. Sometimes it could be a sentence said by the unlikely you have heard before or a song.
I am grateful to be a father. I can stand strong for the ones i love and not worry about things that are trivial.. Im not perect and no where close..But im not afraid to put my heart on my sleeve and jump off that ledge to take a chance again..
I feel like the sun's warmth has skipped my soul due to overbearing weight and pressure..Like a shadow of doubt within myself that couldnt be shaken until i closed chapters in my life. I spoke to a true friend and witnessed that 1st hand. I saw the look on my friends face and noticed a look ive had before. The one of being lost and unsure. Its sad to see a good spirited person be weighed down by fear.Fear of themselves,fear to let go of their past because it's what they know regardless of if its good for them or not.
People should know that just because something fails or you lose something or someone...doesnt give you the right to sit and watch life go bye. GET UP. we all have wings and though we may be more cautious you should take that risk and fly again.. age,situation,bad experiences, only makes you WISER for the future.. SO heres to risk.
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to RISK NOTHING!!. The people who risk nothing, do nothing,have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change,grow, love, live. Chained by their FEARS they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free.
IM GOING TO ASK A QUESTION AND SEE WHAT REPLIES I GET.
WHAT'S YOU BIGGEST FEAR IN RELATIONSHIPS AS SINGLE PARENTS?
Im not going to say much in this.. But have any of you ever been in a 4-5 hour long conversation before on the phone? To the point where both of your phone's die?
I spoke to a friend till the sun came up last night. It seemed like i had just answered the phone and then the birds started chirping lol.
After our conversation i couldn't sleep and haven't been to sleep yet. Sometimes it's good to do things like this. You kind of get a better sense of who you are and when it's a true friend you are speaking too you can be honest.. with them and yourself.
I watched the sun come up sitting on my back porch drinking coffee. For those of you who are on the west coast.. I wish i was there. But the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.. I'm a sunset guy 99% of the time.. Today the sun rose up and a small ray of light brushed my face. Make's me believe that there's going to be a new beginning soon. very soon.
I wont be on for awhile. I think i may be on to something :)
i got into my hatchback today.. As i pulled out i can barely hear the radio due to my exhaust being kind of loud.
i turned up the cd player and listened to coldplays viva la vida i ended up taking the long route flying down rt.218 from waynesburg to blacksville wv.. i was there in 11 minutes and its a 17 mile drive on some of the most curvey roads known to man. I have had an scca lic for almost 5 years for racing tt ( time trial) and i do have a 5 point harness as a seat belt. Needless to say as the rain lifted this afternoon it was beautiful and i listened to this song and all i could do was laugh.
i felt the feeling of flight..the wings i once gladly clipped to be with the person i loved are growing again.
Everyday we all get better as we look to the sun for warmth and a more positive outlook on life.
if we were all perfect and life was good all the time with the ones we once loved we wouldnt be here.. but this is life and it is a test.. not just on how strong we are but on how we react to things that happen to us.. the answers to that is our lifes lesson..
music has always helped me.. deftones are my anger and frustration.. coldplay is my sanity and the music for my best of times... staind and linkin park is the music of the past for me.. i listen to them all alot.
coldplay HAS TO BE one of the most inspiring bands in our time.
i just got back 40 min ago.. time to prep for the ufc fight. i cant wait.
WHAT SONGS DO YOU ALL LIKE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GREAT. Is there a song that touches your soul and who you are? feedback please!!!!!!
Well now, I havent been able to get much sleep as of late. Between work and my son.. I end up falling asleep around 2-330am. Well this morning @ 7ish i got woke up to my sons sholder landing in the middle of my chest as his knee went ( other places)..lol
after i healed up and i got breakfast made for us we went out and enjoyed the day for awhile. I came home and jumped online again and noticed i got added by a special somone i look forward to hearing from.
this kind of thing makes my day. Anyway.. my son has been begging for a slip and slide for our rather steep hillside..
so needless to say i got him one and we just came in from enjoying the mach2 speeds going down the slip and slide. theres supposed to be a little stopper air filled pillow at the end of the slide that ended being more of a jump into wet grass.. lol im definately going to be black and blue for awhile after sliding down 40ft and flying for an additional 10 after hitting that pillow. i thought i blew out my sholder.. lol :)
Days like today make me proud to be a parent. He had the time of his life and im glad we were able to do that. At age 5 this for him is kind of a big deal and i know he will talk about it with grandma for a long time.
thanks for reading and i wanted to say to those fellas who have kids... HAPPY FATHERS DAY
